We Didn’t Start The Fire

December 27, 2011

The truth in the logo

So, once again Facebook has decided to implement some weird change to the layout and function of their social networking site. The “newsfeed” add on about a year ago was WAY too much for me. Facebook was bad enough when I had to search out people to stalk. Now, all I have to do is log on and I get more information about people than I ever cared or needed to know. I wonder why we continue to allow our lives to be front page news (literally). But I am guilty, like so many others, of posting pictures of my latest adventure or little things about my day like people actually cared what I thought about ANYTHING. There are many times I have debated deleting my Facebook and disconnecting that part of my world, but the sad part is that Facebook has become a legitimate way I keep in touch with people that I really do care about. Because without that I would be forced to exchange emails or call my friends to check on them more or (dare I say it) send a letter to a friend that is far away. It is sad that I sit and wonder sometimes how I would stay connected with what’s going on in Joe from college if I didn’t see his relationship status change on my newsfeed. When you stop and think about it, it’s kinda impersonal. But I digress.

The real purpose of this post was to compare a little ‘quiz’ I did almost 6 years ago with how I would answer now. I stumbled upon this while exploring Mark Zuckerberg’s newest change to the Facebook interface, Timeline. Yes, I know you wanted to know exactly who was writing on your high school boyfriend’s wall when you were in high school (if you had Facebook then…). Well, now you can go back to 2005 and catch up with your old Facebook posts. I feel like this is an add on that would mean more 5 or 10 years from now. Facebook isn’t really 10 years old and most of it’s recent success was in the last 5 years. I think everyone loves nostalgia, but I don’t really feel like 4 years ago is such a “blast from the past”. However, I guess it’s one of those ‘kinda cool things that I can explore now since I’m on break with nothing to do, but this time next week when school starts back I won’t give it a second thought’ things.

There I go on a tangent again…to the quiz! Enjoy! 🙂

The answers in parenthesis are my 2011 answers and my 2006 answers are not in parenthesis.
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name:
*** (It hasn’t changed and I’m not really giving away names on this blog. Sorry!)

Birthday:
Sept. 30

Current Location:
my living room (My bedroom, I forgot about the days before I had a laptop and our family computer was in the living room…)

Eye Color:
brown
Hair Color:
brown wit a little red

Righty or Lefty:
Righty

Zodiac Sign:
libra

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your fears:
losing the people i love and not being good enough (Well, I experienced some of both of these things in the years between 2006 and now. So I think my new fears are losing my empathy for people)

Your perfect pizza:
thick crust cheese, pepperoni, bacon like a meatlovers:Plol (Anything deep dish Chicago style–yup, i’ve crossed over the the dark side!)

Your current love:
God

LAYER THREE: TODAY

Your thoughts first waking up:
Back to school…aww..man:( (Christmas part two! Yay!)

Your best physical feature:
umm….i guess my smile (still is 🙂 )

Your bedtime:
um it depends on a lot of stuff (I am a grown woman–I do what I want. Which is usually in bed by 12)

Your most missed memory:
hangin wit my cuzs either in ATL or Chi-town and hangin wit my all my friends (A life without responsibilities…lol)

LAYER FOUR YOUR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke:
dr. pepper (or sprite)

McDonald’s or Burger King:
burger king (or Chik-fil-a)

Single or group dates:
both (single)

Adidas or Nike:
nike (sure…)

Lipton Tea or Nestea:
either (Southern sweet tea!)

Chocolate or vanilla:
I LOVE CHOCOLATE! but i like the smell of vanilla…(somethings never change)

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Smoke:
nope (and it’s gonna stay that way)

Take a showers:
yep (and it’s gonna stay that way)

Think you’ve been in love:
yeah (not really, I have been pretty infatuated over the years, but not truly in love)

Believe in yourself:
yeah (got to!)

Like someone right now:
no (not entirely true…)

Tell your friends you love them:
yes…LOVE YOU ALL!:D (yes!)

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Gone to the mall?
yep (check)

Been on stage:
umm…does chorus count? lol (does my school’s atrium count?)

Eaten Sushi:
nope…eww…nah (hahaha, yes! And loved it! So, I guess somethings do change…lol)

Been dumped:
nope (no)

Gone skating:
no(I WANT TO!:D) (i’m going this weekend! )

Dyed your hair:
nope (no)

Got asked out:
lol no (does to study count?)

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER:
Changed who you were with to fit in:
nope (unfortunately in the past, yes)

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD:

Age you’re hoping to be married:
late 20’s (i guess we can still shoot for that…lol It might be more early 30s)

Age you hope you die?
whenever God wants to take me (yes)

Age you want to have kids:
late 20’s early 30’s (How about mid 30s?)

Name 2 things you want to do:
1. grow closer to God
2. live life to the fullest (yes to both!)

LAYER NINE: IN A GIRL/GUY:
Best eye color:
it doesn’t matter (same)

Best hair color:
dark (sure…it doesn’t really matter)

Clothing style:
whatever looks best on him (yes)

Serious or funny:
funny!!!!!! (yes)

LAYER TEN: WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
1 min. ago :
listenin to music like i am now…lol (Writing this post…)

1 hour ago:
at tha bank..(On Facebook…thus how this whole post came to be)

1 day ago:
goin to church (Celebrating Christmas with my family!)

2 years ago:
umm…doin stuff (I wish I could always be this specific! lol And I was Junior in college who knows what I was doing…)

LAYER ELEVEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE:
I love:
God, my parents, my grandma, all my family, and ALL MY WONDERMOUS FRIENDS!:D (I would agree except with the word “wondermous” and i would like to add that I still love my grandma even though she is no longer with me here on earth)

I don’t:
want to go to school tomorrow (I’ll be saying that a week from now…lol I don’t want this Christmas to end…)

I feel:
sleepy and tired (12:30 am…yeah, that sounds about right lol)

I hate:
fake and arrogant ppl…(amen, sista!)

I miss:
my family in chicago and atlanta, and my friends not here. (My grandma and my friends from HU and LUMC)
I need:
to do my pre-cal…uggh. (oh wow…I don’t miss those days. I need to order my book for my social justice class, pay my rent, wash clothes and pack, call my doctor about my bill, deposit money in the bank, etc. Welcome to adulthood 17 year-old me! lol)

I want:
to go to Africa right now!!!!!!!!! (travel the world)

I would like to go:
to Africa…good thing i am:D (If you couldn’t tell I was excited about this trip to Africa..as I should have been. I’m going to Haiti this summer, so I guess I want to go there.)

Goodnight!

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Pomp and Circumstance

May 20, 2011

So, I graduated college last Saturday and it hasn’t really settled in. I have been a member of the Harding empire for the past 17 years and it seems weird, almost traitor-like, to think about calling another school home. However, in two months I will be. As I look back on my years at the university specifically, I think about the people. The people I met in college made my experience a lot better than my high school experience with Harding was. The picture above is just one group out of the several groups of friends I made at HU in my four years. The people above, the science crew, have been with me the most as we have taken classes together, talked together, cried together, laughed together, got angry together, and spent WAY too many late nights and days in the science building (sci as I affectionately call it…). I couldn’t write down in one post how much every person, not only pictured here but many others, that i’ve met at HU has meant to me. I have so many wonderful memories and those memories are the only things that make me what to hang on to this place. My life is changing so fast and I can’t count the number of times in the past month I asked for time to just slow down and wait for me to catch my breath. On the other hand, I think of all the times in the past 3 and 1/2 years that I just wished for one day to be over or for time to fly between one moment to the next. Oh, how I wish now (as I was told MANY times) that I had enjoyed every moment more. It is always true what they say that you never know what you have until it’s gone. I feel like I always remember that lesson too late at times in my life. All I can say is I have been blessed by the people I met in college and I MISS them, dearly. I hate the times I was distant, moody, and petty. I hate the times where I was too focused on the next test or project or guy and less on those friends that meant the most to me. It is also fitting that I am reminded of this lesson on my grandmother’s birthday. She died 2 and 1/2 years ago and I still miss her as if it were yesterday. I learned that lesson about not giving enough time to those who mean the most to you in a hard way when she died. She was my best friend and I will see her again someday.

On that note, I just wanted to speak a small bit about the news I’ve been hearing. According to some guy on family radio, I will be seeing my grandmother again tomorrow because that is when the world is ending. Apparently, he has calculated when the rapture is going to take place. I believe what Revelation says and that it will happen someday but the bible also says that “No man knows the day nor the hour when the Lord will come”. So, I’m not sure why this guy thinks that he is the exception. If the world ends tomorrow, I am okay with that because I will be in Heaven with my Lord. But if it doesn’t, I won’t be disappointed and I am kinda excited about the next stage of my life. I guess we will see but my trust is in God either way.

Well, I am sorry I haven’t participated in the post-a-week as I had originally planned, but my last semester was more challenging and time consuming than I thought it was going to be. But all in all, it was a great year and an great four years and I look forward to the future whatever may.

Peace and blessings

100 Years

February 13, 2011

I am not doing very good at this post a week thing, but once my senior seminar is over I plan to worry less and enjoy life more. It has been a hectic, but wonderful first 5 weeks of school. For one, I can’t believe that it has been 5 weeks already. I am excited about the next chapter of life, but I am nervous about the future also. I guess that’s why today’s topic has struck me so post worthy. “What would i say to myself if i could go ten years into the past?” Well, I am going to answer that and take it a step further by writing to myself 10 years into the future as well.

So here we go:

Dear 11 year old me,
I know you are all excited about graduating 6th grade in a couple of months. It is a great
experience,but enjoy elementary while you can. Unfortunately, you will never have recess
again after this year.The people you thought were your friends will start to act weird
and mean because they think they are "cooler" that way. But don't do that.
Look around at the friends you have and cherish the ones who have always been there
because 10 years from now, they actually will still be there. So treat them better.
Don't take yourself too seriously and enjoy every experience you can.
Except don't try out for the Jr. High cheer leading team. You are better than that and
you are just going to get discouraged and make you feel bad about yourself.
Try focusing on your grades and schoolwork. 7th grade is going to be a little challenging,
so, work hard. You are going to medical school someday! You should probably start earlier
than I did caring about your grades. Oh, and don't quit piano.
You are just going to end up doing it off and on for the next 1o years
and retaking lessons at my age. So, I'm sure there are a lot of things I could tell you,
but somethings you need to experience so that you can become me.
However, the last advice I'll give you, young one, is
don't waste your time and energy on the jerks you will meet in the next 10 years.
I haven't found a special someone yet, but I hate the energy I spent caring about
some of the jokers you are about to meet. Believe me, love will come just be patient.
Well, I have to go. Enjoy life and every moment. Love God and love people.
Love,

21 year old me

Now, to the future:

Dear 31 year old me,
You have to understand how weird I feel writing to myself in the future. I have lots of questions and I would really love if you could write to yourself 10 years ago and let me know what is in store for the next 10 years. But I guess you are a doctor now and I hope that you are married, but if not that’s okay. And if you are married, do i have any children yet? I would assume that you would tell me some of the same things that I told my 11 year old self. About enjoying life and cherishing my real friends. There’s probably some more jokers in my future that I’ve wasted time on, but hopefully my broken road is leading us somewhere. I hope that I have kept in touch with my friends from college. I don’t know how much they mean to you, but they mean a lot to me right now. And I hope that the friends I made in medical school are good people. I hope that I am fluent in Spanish and I have been back to Africa at least once. (If not living there right now…) I hope that wherever I am, I am helping people through medicine and touching lives. I know that God is still a major part of my life and I hope that my parents are somewhere near. I guess my biggest hope is that you are a better person than I am today, but still down to earth,  fun loving, and hopeful. I hope that life has not beaten you to the point where I am none of those things 10 years from now. I believe that the best is yet to come for both us.
Please respond. Love God and love people. Stay true to us.
Sincerely,
21 year old me

 

Well, my final semester in undergrad has finally begun and I am left feeling excited, nervous, sad, and happy at the same time. I never felt this way about high school graduation. Maybe because I knew the friends I had from high school would be my friends in college and those I wasn’t friends with I would never care about. For the most part, this was true. However, college has been a different experience. Although challenging and frustrating at times, I have had the best experiences while I was in college. I have made a lot of true friends and I have grown a lot as a person. This has not been made clear than when I hang out with my college friends. We all get along so well that it is “clique” ish at times. But we have laughed together, cried together, complained together, and encouraged each other. I guess my nervousness comes from the thought that I will not find this same type of group ever again in life. This is completely discouraging about the future and makes me want to let time stand still and not move on. But I have to move on.

Even though I have made stronger friendships in college than I did in high school, I must still keep somewhat of the same attitude i had about leaving college. I am going to bigger and better things. The friends I’ve made in college will not disappear. I will get invitations to all of their weddings and they will be invited to mine. My closest and dearest friends will, hopefully, come visit me and I will visit them. And my friends who will still be around good ol’ S-town will see my face every once and a while because my parents are here. So, I should look at graduation as not the end but a beautiful beginning.

On a slight side note: The first two days of school have been fun. I am interested to see how the semester goes. I am really glad to see everyone and I am going to enjoy EVERY minute of my last semester.

Have a good rest of the week everyone!

Black Or White

December 29, 2010

Due to getting a month off from school for Christmas break, I have been watching more movies the past couple of days. I just watched an incredible independent film about race, family, and life. The movie is called “Shades of Ray” and it stars Zachary Levi from NBC’s “CHUCK.” Now, I will admit that I only rented this movie because: 1. It was practically free (I  rented from Amazon.com after earning $5 credit to Amazon’s Video-On-Demand) 2. I LOVE Zachary Levi (He is a talented actor who is adorable! haha) Regardless of my motives, I am glad I watched this movie. With a “some language” disclaimer (the Pakistani father loved to curse), I would recommend this movie to everyone. I cannot believe that this film was only shown in festivals and not brought to the mainstream. Oh Well, maybe I should just tell you what I loved so much about this movie.

Not giving too much away, the film explores the dynamics of race in the identity of a mixed race individual. The races in question were Caucasian and Pakistani, which is a new combination for me. However, I loved the writer’s use of this new interracial relationship that is not as often explored as some others are. Throughout the movie, the protagonist, Zachary Levi’s character, is searching to find a mate and really himself. His character wants to please everyone, especially his overbearing yet well-intentioned Pakistani father. His father ironically disapproves of his son taking a wife that is not Pakistani. There are many family relationships explored through this film. So many times, we do things to please others, but really all we need to do is follow our hearts. I will not give away the ending, but I thought that the writer did a wonderful job of taking us through the journey of Ray Rehman (Zach Levi) to find himself and true happiness. I walked away from the movie believing that no matter who we are we cannot reject any part of our heritage or ourselves. The best thing is to embrace all of us including the things we might want to forget.

Although I am not a half-white, half-Pakistani American, I found myself relating to Ray. As an African American, I am a mix of many different backgrounds. Of the ethnicities I know of, I am part Native American, Irish, and African (of course). I have felt lost and confused at times like Ray. Wondering, “Should I be looking for a mate who is my “kind”?” On the other hand, should I completely reject that part of my heritage that is painful and even shameful to think about? I do not have any answers, but this movie has given me a lot to think about. My dad has shared with me a great deal of black history. We have talked about the triumphs, victories, and defeats that fill the past centuries of colored people. Although I still don’t like to think about it, I know a lot about the enslavement and injustices on my ancestors. Thanks to GOD that African Americans have come a very long way in this country. And I now live the dream that Dr. King said in his speech that hot August day that: “the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.” This still does not mean that everything is perfect racially. Moreover, I still struggle with the thought that maybe a white man cannot find me truly attractive or maybe an interracial relationship would not work because we are too different. “Shades of Ray” dug deep into those thoughts and feelings. In the end, I believe the message is not one way or the other, but truly seeing yourself and others for who they are completely. I heard some
one say once that we are NOT supposed to be colorblind, but accepting of a person as a whole. This includes their ethnicity.

Well, that’s my thoughts. Nevertheless, don’t take my word on it, formulate your own opinions. Have a blessed night!

Uncharted

December 27, 2010

I am not the best at keeping up with journals and blogs. I usually start really well, but the motivation to write ends as mysteriously and quickly as it began. But as before, i only write when the inspiration hits me and time allows me. As i look forward to 2011, i see a lot of new things in my future. I feel that if i were ever going to start a “grown-up” blog, it should be now.
I struggled with what to name this blog and it might still change at any point in time. But for now, i chose lines from the Robert Frost poem “The Road Not Taken”. I feel that it somewhat sums up my life at this point. I am a unique, complex individual, but i hope you will get to know me through my blog. Upon receiving an acceptance to medical school late last week, i feel like my future is going to be an interesting and fun ride. So the “road less traveled by” is meant to be my life and hopefully it will make a difference to me and the world.

Let’s start this new year right.